Happiness: You’re doing it wrong

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Oh the Internet… It is amazing how it is filled with inspiring quotes and cats and rants and advice and LOL things and random things as this.

It’s 10:10 a.m. I should be working but I’m guess I’m procrastinating, using my time to find anything curious and useful… or not. I wear my earphones but no music is playing, I’m just pretending to be busy so people won’t disturb me in inspiration hunting. I’m on Pinterest, when I find this image posted by some apparel store. I stop. I don’t like it. I don’t pin it. It just makes me think whether it is some actionable recommendation or not.

“Think Happy Thoughts” seems like an easy reminder, however, it’s not. Instead of a motivator, I think this quote is a stressor. What if I forget this piece of advice? What if these happy thoughts aren’t truly mine? What if these happy thoughts are a distorted tale I tell myself for the sake of happiness at my own convenience, ignoring, and what’s worst, choosing to forget how things truly are? Been there, done that. Awful.

Being happy is not about thinking: It’s about being.
Thinking is a habit of the smart (read “Happy vs Smart” the very first post of this blog). Thinking is something you learn, you’re trained for. Thinking is something, that if you don’t build as a habit, you forget to do.

Being is something inherent to yourself. It’s what you are. Happiness is like air, you cannot choose not to breathe. Happiness is what you become, consciously or not, by your thoughts, actions and words, and since we are always changing our actions, we never “are”. We are always becoming. Constant change all along the watchtower! (ok, not this has nothing to do here, but I like this song!)

Descartes said “I think, therefore I am”. Sure it works like that as well but personally, I find it too elaborate for a living. I say, stop thinking, over-thinking. Reconcile with your feelings and start being. Being what you want to be without judgment, without constraints. There’s nothing wrong with feeling for the sake of feeling. Feel sad if you must, Feel happy if you have to. Feel love above all.

Word of advice: feelings are great. Beware what you think about your feelings.

So, stop thinking happy thoughts, read this NY Times article and don’t fall in the trap of positive thinking, wishful thinking.

Just feel. Just be.

Surprising Behavior

Someone asked the Dalai Lama what surprises him most. This was his response.

“Man, because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; He lives as if he’s never going to die, and then he dies having never really lived”