Mensajes del majallá sobre la perfección.

Rosa Mena Valenzuela

No soy religiosa de ningún tipo, pero nací y crecí en una familia y colegio de tradición católica entonces conocer la vida del Nazareno es natural para mí. Casualmente era Semana Santa cuando se me ocurrió visitar una vez mas el Museo de Arte (@marte_esv) de El Salvador. Allí, entre paso y paso, me habló ella: Rosa Mena Valenzuela.

Nunca entendí su arte. Siempre me pareció un vómito sobre lienzos. Lo siento. Es atrevida la ignorancia. Esa amalgama de formas (?) incompletas (?), de retazos de tela (?) y pinceladas (?) que forman una obra (?) siempre me parecieron una burla hacia el espectador. Si, osea, una burla hacia a mí, “la gran espectadora”. Ya sé que tengo una adicción a tomarme la vida muy en serio… y pues en ese proceso de realización es cuando me saluda la niña Rosa con su Via Crucis. “¿Rosa Mena tiene un Via Crucis? … Claro, ¿y por qué no?” me pregunto y respondo al mismo tiempo.

Voy caminando ahí en la rampa que conecta el primer nivel de la entrada del museo con el nivel de las salas inferiores, deslizando la mirada incrédula sobre los lienzos de la Valenzuela cuando llego a la penúltima (?) estación. Es justo ahí cuando la niña Rosa, irreverente como imagino que fue, se disfraza de Cristo en la Cruz, me escupe en la cara y entre carcajadas oscilantes me dice “¡Vos si sos bruta! ¡Si está bien no ser perfecta, mujer!”.

[silencio]

“¡Ay marica! ¡Qué fuerte tía!” pensé con un suspiro entrecortado. Con huesos helados termino el recorrido en un museo donde ya no escucho nada más que esta verdad tan punzante que me dejaron ir del majallá.

Y pues si… es que así es el arte. No le pide permiso a nadie para existir. No le pide permiso a nadie para hablar. Simplemente existe fuera del control del artista para pronunciarse mayúsculamente sobre las mentes cuadradas como la mía: la perfección es una idea inútil. La perfección es una ilusión más.

No tiene mucha relación, pero al momento de escribir esta historia, tiene todo el sentido del mundo ese concepto japonés del “wabi-sabi” que conocí y del que me enamoré desde hace cinco años: nada es para siempre, nada es perfecto, nada está terminado; y en todo eso hay belleza sublime.

El mundo no habla pero es en el silencio cuando escuchamos todo. [DA]

5 razones para comenzar proyectos personales.

walk the talk

Si, lo hice otra vez. Googlear mi nombre, no por hedonismo, sino que para verificar la consistencia de fotografías e imagen personal. Además, con la edad, eso de la privacidad se va haciendo importante y es necesario ver que “ven” los otros, digo pues, por aquello de los stalkers…

En fin, lo importante es que entre enlaces y enlaces y enlaces de mi vida digital, me encontré con mi “yo” del 2009, cuando era nada más que una joven llena de sueños e ideas. Cuando decidí ser desempleada y renunciar de mi primer trabajo en agencia, cuando juré y juré “jamás regresar”, cuando lo único que me hacía falta era un iPhone para grabar y hacer más cosas (eso decía yo…), cuando proclamé que de dónde venía el dinero no era lo importante sino que “emprender” todas esas ideas que… ahora el 2015 han crecido y me siguen dando vuelta en la cabeza, y la lista de proyectos personales en lugar de disminuir, porque nunca llegan las fechas de entregas, continúa creciendo y creciendo porque no puedo dejar la mente quieta…  Si, @haroldcaceres tiene razón: conceptualizo demasiado. Soy demasiado dreamer, me faltan manos.

Luego de que mi yo del pasado me abofeteara con “5 razones para comenzar proyectos personales” no puedo hacer más que compartir con ustedes estas breves razones, que considero válidas todavía.

5 razones para comenzar proyectos personales
[reblogged by helio colectivo]

El trabajo conlleva dos grandes motivaciones: el amor y la rentabilidad. Pero muchas veces nos enfocamos más en producir para alguien más y aunque la satisfacción es personal y económica, los proyectos personales también deben ser considerados como parte de la actividad de cada persona ¿por qué?

1. Libertad creativa. Al no estar sujeto a briefs ni a necesidades puramente comerciales puedes divagar más sobre alguna idea y ejecución innovadora.

2. Tiempo para ti. Muchas personas consideran que dedicarse tiempo es una pérdida de tiempo. Muchas personas deciden “descansar” viendo televisión; personalmente creo que ver TV es perder el tiempo, y se descansa mejor “creando”. No necesariamente tiene que ser algo gráfico o relacionado con tu trabajo, puede ser una receta de cocina, un cuento, jardinería. Lo importante es crear algo personalmente satisfactorio.

3. Experimentación. Muchos proyectos (por no decir todos) delimitan tiempos de producción cortos y tiempos de entrega imposibles, por lo que el factor “experimentación” queda relegado, llevando a las mismas fórmulas para abordar un problema. Al realizar tus propios proyectos, tienes el tiempo para experimentar, desarrollar o potencial alguna habilidad.

4. Diversión. Muchos proyectos personales son una alternativa para mantenerse activos, pero también debe ser una oportunidad para divertirse. Si puedes involucrar a más personas, no solamente tienes más perspectivas sobre una misma idea, sino que también interactúas y socializas. El punto aquí es olvidar el stress diario y divertirse.

5. Portafolio. Cada trabajo que realizas suma a tu portafolio. Tener proyectos personales demuestra tu amor por lo que haces, tu deseo de continuar creando y dice mucho de tu motivación personal ante la producción de ideas. [edit. 2015] Además, los proyectos desarrollados en los que sumas esfuerzos económicos y rentables determinan la facilidad futura de obtener financiamientos.

Es difícil encontrar el tiempo para comenzar y terminar un proyecto personal. Muchos de mis amigos dicen “cuando tenga tiempo”, “en vacaciones”, “necesito aprender primero”, “cuando tenga dinero”, pero realmente es solo una excusa para no comenzar a hacer algo, puede ser miedo, falta de motivación o cualquier otro factor.

Si de verdad quieres emprender el proyecto, no importa lo que hagas, sin duda lo llevarás a cabo.

¿Qué te detiene para comenzar?. [DA]

Detouring “Into the Wild”

142

SPOILER ALERT
This publication contains details about the film “Into The Wild”
[You’ve been warned]

On a cold night, in a foreign country where I’d been living for 16 months, among beers, nachos and work colleagues, my best and only friend, suggested that I had to watch that “Into The Wild” film. The Sean Penn direction thing and the Eddie Vader music just added to the sales pitch.

“The hell with it! if I ain’t finding meaning right now, I can always use *my* time in productive ways… ways productive to me.” and so, my existencial crisis sent me to watch the film during working hours.

 …

CHAPTER I
EARLY AGES

“My way or the highway” —that’s why I went away.

It must have broken my parents hearts to see me leave but I think parenthood includes this kind of growth anyway. My passport? A job offer. It is not my intention to make a biographical story here but a parallel version of events related to the film.

Back to the film, Alaska seemed way too unrealistic… you don’t need to go that far away to start these kind of “journeys”. I moved to another country (less than 200 miles away from where I call “home”) to start this kind of experience because I thought I had a concept about “going away”. I thought it was about detachment, about independence, about needing nothing but oneself; that the world would provide and that *feeling alone* (not *being alone* since I know one can’t truly be alone) was the ultimate satisfaction: a human being connected to oneself, surrounded by oneself, living for oneself… and even though it was satisfying, the other me, a honest, touchy, warm-hearted one decided it wasn’t enough… that my idea of being away was bullshit.

I honestly believe that the worst thing that can happen to you is to get what you want… and I did get what I wanted. I was away. I was alone. I was free. In fact, I was way too free to truly share with anyone and too alone to truly enjoy things. I separated from the world that much that I even disappeared from myself. This “journey” of mine left me directionless. Isolated.

Disagree with me but I don’t think the film shows a surprising story, the only surprising thing about it is that it’s based on a real life event. I really disliked the highly idealised/clichéd “wanderer” profile. I find the story development way too linear (you can identify how it’ll end), the character arch too obvious (that moment of insight when it’s too late), and the plot points are too scheduled, too trimmed to fit… however, it works. I don’t think the real message has anything to do with the anti-system statements but the one about happiness, that it is only real when shared. If anything, I really liked that insight especially because I’d arrived to that very same conclusion just weeks before watching the film.

Happiness

 …

CHAPTER II
MIDDLE AGES

Since I’m 22, I wanted to become a writer. I thought the way to becoming one was writing, living, writing some more, getting drunk, living some more, writing again… and repeat. I also befriended a guy so he could share writing advice. Two things he shared “Write theatre” and  “Find the right words. That’s the writer’s job.” 

This same friend also told me that I had to learn to name things by their name,especially feelings… Months later, there I am watching this film, finding that Supertramp has to learn this as well… “Nigga please! Is this the story of my life?”

The film is beautifully crafted with great photography, decent casting and stunning scenery… soundtrack functions as a plot device vital for story development… but what truly struck me was not the story, aesthetics or technicalities but the “INANITION” thing. It didn’t hit me right away, but when it did, it’d hit me down my belly.

It must be a terrible thing to die of starvation. After learning to “name things by their name”, the character makes a terrible mistake. A mistake with no return…. Goosebumps in my skin. My stomach froze the way it does when anxiety plays in and even though I already knew how the film ended, I kept on watching. If I’d already projected myself into the film, I had to finish it… and as the Supertramp learned during the film, so I learned that my journey was over too.

“Home is where the heart is” I remembered, so my next illogical step was to return. Return to the people I call home.

 …

Deserve Love

 …

CHAPTER III
MODERN AGES 

Months before watching the film, I’d dream of my best friend. A full-of-symbols kind of dream. I shared my dream with her and she said that it meant that I had to learn to accept the love that was given to me… that if anything, that was the real reason why I went away. Touchée. The difference between Supertramp and me was that he already knew why he went away. I didn’t.

With a hurt ego I finally accepted I’d been wrong for a long time, that this idea of mine about “loving and leaving” was a mistaken one. That was it. Game over. Full circle. The difference between Supertramp and me was that I could return, so, without remorse or doubts, without judgment or analysis, I returned.

 …

A bus ticket, two suitcases and a five hours road trip sends me home.

Being at home, I started to look inwards and take better care of myself… I even went to the doctor and get blood tests and stuff like that… the results showed that I’m losing some “Ketone bodies”, the ones that regulates energy and metabolic functions. Probable causes: prolonged fasting, lack of proper food or nourishment, INANITION… infections, metabolic problems, diabetes… Doctors have a special way of telling simple things in complicated manners.

inanition |ˌinəˈniSHən|
noun
lack of mental or spiritual vigor and enthusiasm: she was thinking that old age bred inanition.
• exhaustion caused by lack of nourishment.

ORIGIN late Middle English: from late Latin inanitio(n-), from Latin inanire ‘make empty,’ from inanis ‘empty, vain.’

This is when the film truly hits me… that INANITION word that was lingering around somewhere in my head. I’m not worried about health complications since I know that the fasting, the starvation, the nourishing I lacked was that of sharing, of accepting the love, the vastness of company, the richness of the good, the bad and the ugly.

EPILOGUE

The one who recommended the film, the one who taught me to find the right words, the one who spoke the truth about my heart… they are always right. I’m always amazed how my friends know what I need beforehand.

.

10 things to learn from Walter White. (3x BONUS LESSONS)

When I was in high school I had to make a choice: university degree. When I was 8 years old, I wanted to study Marine Biology. I’d seen some Jaques Cousteau T.V. program and all I wanted was to swim with the dolphins. Later, when I was 12, I wanted to be a lawyer. Then, by 15 I wanted to be a graphic designer. By 18, I wanted to study Chemistry. I turned the sciences down and pursued the graphic design thing. I regret it.

I’ve been on a wild binge of Breaking Bad. Yeah.. yeah… I know a “little” late, but “Fall never comes late” said some Chinese wise man (or something like that).

I learned nothing about chemistry, but here I want to share my top 10 lessons I’ve learned from Walter White:


01

Lesson #1. Clean after your mess. Be responsible. What’s done it’s done and you can’t take it back. You shit it, you clean it. No matter what you’re doing, cooking breakfast, vomiting on the sink, going on a killing spree or throwing pizza to the roof of your house… always, always clean your mess.

02

Lesson #2. Keep where you eat clean. OK. this is not something Walter White said explicitly… however it makes sense that no matter what happens, make sure it never hits you at home. Keep your shit away… really far away. Find your RV, your desert, your Jesse, your Mike, your Skyler, your Saul… whatever that serves as your junkyard. Word of advice: try not to shit on people, but if you have to do it to keep yourself clean, you do what you gotta do.

03

Lesson #3. Equal share. No matter what the deal is, what the partners are, what the job is… always go equal share over responsibilities, winnings or losses, even liabilities. Never settle for less that your partners.

04

Lesson #4. Underdogs bite harder. Chemistry teacher, cancer diagnosed… blah, blah, blah… The underdog cover is always the best one. Bark too much, you don’t bite. It’s better not to have any front, than to have every front to lose, like the in-law Hank.

05

Lesson #5. Think in sequences. Steps matter. When you lack clarity or you don’t know what’s next, sit down and always, always enunciate what your steps are going to be in order to achieve what you want. Step after step, walk ahead… way ahead ’til you’re so far away that they’ll never see you coming.

06

Lesson #6. Logistics matters. This goes hand in hand with Lesson #5 and it’s part of the planning process. What are the costs and the required resources needed to accomplish your goals? You take care of the little details nobody cares to see and you’ll never have to worry about things falling apart.

07

Lesson #7. Smart up. Christ! Take advantage of your Homo Sapiens condition. Use your brains. If science, technology or any other modern world artifact can help you out, use it. Do it. Humanity has advanced this far for us to be smart enough and not over-complicate things.

08

Lesson #8. Leave work at work. Besides the fact that Walter couldn’t build a lab at home, it’s clear that work is work and it should be kept far away from home. Work your hours, make them profitable and never, ever bring work at home.

09

Lesson #9. Never take “No” for an answer. When things are muddled, tangled or whatever and the only thing to do is to give up, the only reasonable, logical thing to do is to “Never give control up”. Things only stop until you say so… everything is negotiable, well, everything except love.

10

Lesson #10. It’s OK to be the bad guy. Hey, I’m not saying it’s OK to go wild on a passive-agressive killing spree or the way Walt did. Beyond the drug lords and the world Vincent Gillian depicted, Breaking Bad is about breaking social conventions, it’s about breaking from being “politically correct”. it’s about not taking shit from people, like ever.

edit.

BONUS LESSON #1. Think Gigantic. Where Jesse saw teenths, Mr. White saw pounds. Where Heisenberg saw thousands, Fring saw millions. Where Jesse saw a business, Walt saw an empire. Where Skyler saw danger, Walter White was the danger. Think, and when you do, think big, think gigantic. Do more with the less effort you can. Never settle for less. Go for the unmeasurable.

BONUS LESSON #2 Never compromise Quality. No matter what you do, from single day daily tasks, to mass-production of everyday products, to cooking illicit drugs… Quality is what defines what you’re gonna be worth. Lasseter from Pixar knows this too.

BONUS LESSON #3 Information, demand information, steal information. Somehow Walter always knew what was happening. He went too far because he had information at hand. He asked his in-law, he asked Jesse, he demanded to talk to Gustave Fring… he always demanded information. Make sure you have sources to gather reliable information and craft the best strategies.

There, in a nutshell. What I learned. Of course there are more things to write down, but I think this is something I can really pull from the show and apply in daily life. 99.1% purity?

Real-life binary people: How digital has made our emotions look all the same.

Screen Shot 2015-02-13 at 11.25.21

As part of my bi-weekly creative writing project “Non-Girly Blue” where a bunch of ladies challenge each other to write stories inspired on songs, “Let’s Stay Together” by Al Green rings in my head. There’s a fine line that divides love from hate they say, and even though I love this song, today I hate it. I’ve never placed any importance to “special dates” except for today: February 13th. Friday. Bad luck.

Being a day before Valentines [and a bad luck day] listening to this song has made me think about my last emotional relationship: a once-a-month-online-to-offline relationship filled with long silences, mystery, ocasional texting and quality real-time offline company. My love story was nothing like Spike Jonze love dystopia, however I honor his manifesto about digital love in the modern world. A real depiction of this complicated human behaviour: love.

It’s curious how we’ve digitalised our lives to the point of developing strong emotional relations with what I call “real-life binary people”. Don’t laugh. I mean it!!! We are real-life people and binary-people at the same time. We are humans and computers. We exists yet we’re only an idea because the day I (or you) disconnect, s’all gone. Deleted. Vanished.

It baffles me how we’ve come to hold binary people so close to our minds and so deep in our hearts. We laugh, we share, we feel, we cry… we even feel pain because of their digital behaviours: their absences, the unanswered messages… It’s shocking how our hearts and minds can find heaven or hell because of a Facebook status, a tweet, an Instagram photo, an emoticon. Peace or drama depends on the ability of self-control: the “publish” or “delete” option. Overwhelming.

Another thing that puzzles me about us, real-life binary people, is how we’ve learned to “identify” and “value” the hearts <3, the happy faces :), the sad faces :(LOL makes us laugh, T_T makes us cry (8) makes us sing, :* makes us feel kissed…  Somehow we’ve learned to give them personal meaning; to think they’re unique and original; to feel they belong to the real-life person on the other side of the screen when they’re so generic since everybody online uses the same image to express their “feelings”.

We’ve really come to believe that these binary emotional expressions belong to the real-life binary people we’re engaged to. Really? How come generic “yellow” faces on a screen are so powerful in our hearts? Where has detail and personalisation gone? Why has real-life companion been replaced by binary code?

It gives me the shivers when I hear about real-life “always on” humans feeling alone. Thousands of friends, hundreds of likes, constantly snapchatting, sending images, voice notes and videos all day long but in the end they can’t change reality: they are alone. Binary people is not that compelling to the heart, body and soul matters after all.

I was talking with one of my best friends about love when she shared with me how she used to be so careful with the person she used to love: magic was about the little personalised details: small gifts, unexpected flowers, funny calls… Life celebrated everyday through hugs, kisses, jokes and small-talk. Nothing online can replace the sensation of real-life human contact: sharing body with body, smile with smile, hand with hand. The kind of human connection that builds your love up, reconstruct your energies and reminds you that you are alive, that you are human, that you are more than Internet likes, comments and shares… you know, the real “together” Al Green sings about.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m pro and an advocate for meeting people online: the friend requests, the likes, the shares, the comments, the direct messages, the snapchats at odd hours, the funny pictures and unexpected videos… It’s funny, it’s great, it’s worth sharing so much… real happiness can be shared and experienced through this medium too… however versatile as it is, I’m still old-school and prefer real-life dating. I prefer real life happy (and sometimes not so happy) human company.

I wish you all share some real-life happy human company every day.

Unhappy Humans at work.

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.” —Steve Jobs

I feel it is so cliché having to quote Steve Jobs, however, if he is quoted that much is because he is so damn right. When I first watched his Stanford Commencement Address, I felt inspired (who doesn’t?). I really love the way he becomes intimate by sharing stories… so today, I want to share a Happy story with you.

After inspiration faded away, I began asking myself about what I love. I had a great job at an agency I still consider to be family and community instead of a team work… but back then, I didn’t want to settle so I thought “Gee, what is it that I love doing that much?”

After some introspection, I found that I’m an evolving human being with a curiosity as dangerous as that of a cat. Secondly, I found that I’m a sucker for information: I love procrastinating, cool-hunting, researching if you must call it in a “professional” sounding way. After winning the lottery (I’ve never won the lottery but I think that finding this kind of insights ought to feel like that), another me (a sleazy alter-ego), whispered in my ear that I couldn’t make a living on what I am or what I love doing; that maybe this Steve Jobs’ advice meant that I had to learn to love what I did instead of going after what I loved.

Later I knew that thinking this way was a highway to mediocracy.

~

I consider myself as a modest cat. I don’t really need nor want much to live. All I need is to express. Since childhood, all I wanted to be was an artist. I wanted to create beautiful images for the world to enjoy. I wanted to capture emotion on a single perfectly crafted frame. I wanted to share a point of view and create concepts that would entice people so much that we would change our way to look at the world together. That’s what great art is all about.

From an industry perspective, all I wanted was to create  sticky heart-felt ideas such as MasterCard’s “Priceless” campaign or McDonald’s “I’m Loving It” campaign.

“Too dreamy” the sleazy alter-ego thought.

Due to [insert any excuse here], I ended up in the advertising world: jumping from one agency to another, working along with fantastic creative human beings, learning to do and forcing myself to love a job for which I invested myself for so many years at the university… but there was a catch: I never wanted to be a MadWoman. I never aimed to travel and shoot T.V. commercials, design billboards or build websites. I never dreamed of winning Cannes Lions or Clios. I never thought of myself as a selling agent and I never saw myself as a commodity to the marketing/sales department.

So I left. I’ve never had trouble [inserting any excuse here] to leave but this time I didn’t excuse myself, this time I was brutally honest about why I wanted to leave.

I trust my intuition when it comes to the heart matters and as well as my friend the rat Remy, I too have a highly developed sense of smell and I can tell when something’s rotten in Denmark… I know when things just don’t feel right.

I’ve left so many jobs that my resume starts being asked about my leaving, but it’s not the jobs thing or the Human Resources inquiries what’s important. What’s important here is that I left my love and my dream too.

~

Over year ago, I had an epiphany, a brief moment of clarity that “the art of choosing is also the art of leaving and that the art of leaving is also the art of finding the unexpected.” A happy friend who now lives in Budapest with her husband and beautiful girls even shared a poem with me about this losing art.

Now, when I think about this epiphany I think it’s true but it’s bullshit at the same time. I realise how stupid “choosing” is. I found that I don’t have to choose anything since choosing is the art of closing to posibilites because “something is desired”, and that this “desire” is nothing but a mutating opinion.

And there’s nothing more stupid than to be miserable over mutating opinions, meaning: doing what you don’t love. If you don’t know what you love, you are doomed to spend your days “excusing” yourself for your non-development, for your unproductiveness, for your wasted time, for your unhappiness.

This is how I can define failure and in spite of my professional career advancements, I’ve been productive at failing for so many years.

However, when I think about my Failure Master, it is fair to think about the Happy Human Company I discovered unexpectedly and that made this MBA bearable: valuable gems of advice and warm hearts have crossed the sky and lit my way.

Last year, a-now-happy-back-then-miserable-soon-to-be-dad friend of mine hated his agency responsibilities as much as I did. He resigned his status quo to work independently and build a pizza joint.

He recommended me that I had to read Scott Belsky, here’s an advice extracted from his book “Making Things Happen” :

“Productivity is not about how efficient you are at work. Productivity is really about how well you are to make an impact in what matters most to you.”

A box of full of paint, watercolours, pastels, ink and brushes; folders of quality artist papers and canvases; a box of written notebooks, newspaper cut-ups and random papers lay in my house. Loads of word documents, spreadsheets and annotations are stored in my computer. Tons of ideas in my head waiting to meet the world.

Yes, I know what I love. I commit myself to be truly productive.

I hope you commit to your love too.

.

Happiness: You’re doing it wrong

Screen Shot 2015-01-06 at 10.16.10

Oh the Internet… It is amazing how it is filled with inspiring quotes and cats and rants and advice and LOL things and random things as this.

It’s 10:10 a.m. I should be working but I’m guess I’m procrastinating, using my time to find anything curious and useful… or not. I wear my earphones but no music is playing, I’m just pretending to be busy so people won’t disturb me in inspiration hunting. I’m on Pinterest, when I find this image posted by some apparel store. I stop. I don’t like it. I don’t pin it. It just makes me think whether it is some actionable recommendation or not.

“Think Happy Thoughts” seems like an easy reminder, however, it’s not. Instead of a motivator, I think this quote is a stressor. What if I forget this piece of advice? What if these happy thoughts aren’t truly mine? What if these happy thoughts are a distorted tale I tell myself for the sake of happiness at my own convenience, ignoring, and what’s worst, choosing to forget how things truly are? Been there, done that. Awful.

Being happy is not about thinking: It’s about being.
Thinking is a habit of the smart (read “Happy vs Smart” the very first post of this blog). Thinking is something you learn, you’re trained for. Thinking is something, that if you don’t build as a habit, you forget to do.

Being is something inherent to yourself. It’s what you are. Happiness is like air, you cannot choose not to breathe. Happiness is what you become, consciously or not, by your thoughts, actions and words, and since we are always changing our actions, we never “are”. We are always becoming. Constant change all along the watchtower! (ok, not this has nothing to do here, but I like this song!)

Descartes said “I think, therefore I am”. Sure it works like that as well but personally, I find it too elaborate for a living. I say, stop thinking, over-thinking. Reconcile with your feelings and start being. Being what you want to be without judgment, without constraints. There’s nothing wrong with feeling for the sake of feeling. Feel sad if you must, Feel happy if you have to. Feel love above all.

Word of advice: feelings are great. Beware what you think about your feelings.

So, stop thinking happy thoughts, read this NY Times article and don’t fall in the trap of positive thinking, wishful thinking.

Just feel. Just be.

La cara del Terapeuta

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Me fui por poco tiempo, 21 meses. La idea del auto-destierro es atractiva, seductora. La idea de salir de la jaula para encontrar nuevas cosas es fascinante, es embriagante. Pero también lo es la idea de regresar. Algo que pensé que no me iba a pasar era verle la cara a la felicidad de regresar. Es algo extraño, todavía no sé como funciona, pero es maravilloso poder tomar alas y salir, y poder ir y hacer y poder estar y soñar y poder compartir… y poder regresar, y encontrar que las que uno creía jaulas, que no eran jaulas cerradas sino que siempre estuvieron abiertas para ir y venir, como esa pintura de Rene Magritte, “Le Thérapeute“.

Hace poco, un mes quizás, un cliente de la agencia de publicidad donde trabajo realizó por segundo año consecutivo su programa de reencuentros. Este año el caso fue de personas inmigrantes que no pueden regresar. Pensé que era un gimmick publicitario, y mi yo sarcástico esbozó un “bah, que hueva”, pero como alguien que vive afuera, alguien que declara que su terruño no es el país sino la gente, realmente las historias me golpearon, me sacaron lágrimas y no porque fueran historias nuevas, total, todos tenemos un inmigrante que no puede regresar, todo sabemos “mas o menos” alguna historia de estas…  meh, nada nuevo… pero cuando sos vos el que se plantea el regresar o volar, el cortar los lazos o volverlos a unir, pues la histora cambia. Realmente debe ser difícil irse y saber que no podés regresar. Que el destierro es real y que el destierro es para siempre. Realmente les deseo la oportunidad de regresar de alguna forma a todas esas personas que no tienen opciones, a esas personas que no pueden hacer más que tripas corazón, como dicen, levantar la frente y seguir en alto aceptando la distancia.

En fin, es extraño ese juego de regresar-no regresar. Creo que entonces la felicidad no está en estar en un lugar o en otro, sino que en aprender a estar en el momento presente, en donde se eligió estar. La felicidad tampoco se encuentra en el tener o el poder, sino que en el compatir con la gente con la que estás, no con la que quisieras estar. Eso, creo que eso es algo de lo poco que aprendí en 21 meses.

¿Qué es Happy Human Company?

Escribo poco, si, lo sé… cualquier cosa podría escribir al respecto pero sería solamente una excusa, una justificación de la falta de disciplina bloggera.

A cuatro años de haber abierto este blog, he tenido algunas reflexiones sobre la felicidad, desde las experiencias de situaciones que puedo catalogar de “momentos felices” hasta las aproximaciones filosóficas y budistas de “una felicidad duradera”.

A veces, durante el proceso de bloggear, parecía que las palabras se me ocultaran o que la felicidad me abandonara de repente impidiéndome escribir algo que fuera verdadero. Pero así es la vida, una constante de recordatorios de que estar conscientemente en el momento presente es lo único que garantiza la felicidad.

Siempre pensé que este blog era para escribir acerca de la felicidad, pero este fin de semana me dí cuenta que no se trata de escribirla, se trata de compartirla, como cuando entre risas en el almuerzo me dijeron “vos haces que me sienta feliz, de verdad, me siento feliz, me dan ganas de reirme, me siento bien.”

 Entonces lo entendí. Entendí que sí somos rayos de sol en la vida de otros, que sí se trata de potenciar a los demás, que sí se trata de sacar lo mejor de uno mismo para sacar lo mejor de los demás. No se trata de escribir filosofías o manifestos que nadie entiende. Una Compañía de Humanos Felices (Happy Human Company) es compartir la energía con los demás, esa energía que trasmuta en felicidad, que comparte felicidad.

Quizás por eso he escrito tan poco sobre la felicidad, porque me cansé de escribirla y me salí al mundo a compartirla.


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